Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
