u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
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