You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
