you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
