cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just had sex on a roof
Sorry about my life...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize