i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
