I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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