So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
