I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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