I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
