U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
