Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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