I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
