I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
