WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
