I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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