So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
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