The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
