Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
