He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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