You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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