And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
