I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
