I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
