So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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