What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
