i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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