you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
