remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
