Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize