That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
