She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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