return my video game
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Randomize
