it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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