I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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