super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
