i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
