apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
