I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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