I'm drive I can fine osifer
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
