i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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