Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
