Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
