I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize