like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
