Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
