Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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