don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
