the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
