my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
