My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize