im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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