the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize