man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
