Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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