Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize