I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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