she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Randomize
