I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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