Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
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