wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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